Workplace Wellness that Works for Everyone

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Hi, everyone, And welcome to today’s webinar, Workplace Wellness: That Works for Everyone.
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Hosted by HRDQ-U and presented by Devin C. Hughes. My name is Sarah and I will moderate today’s webinar. The webinar will last around one hour. If you have any questions or comments, please type them into the questions box on your GoToWebinar control panel, and we’ll answer as many questions as we can during our webinar today.
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And today’s webinar is sponsored by HRDQstore. HRDQ is based upon research of our published training tools. For more than 40 years, HRDQ has been a provider of research based training resources for the classroom, virtual online, and online soft skills training to help retain employees and clients, make better decisions, improve performance, and a much more. You can learn more about HRDQstore at HRDQ store.com.
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And I’d like to welcome our presenter today. Devin C. Hughes. Devin is an author, speaker, consultant, executive coach, an internationally recognized expert in the science of happiness, organizational culture change, and leadership and development.
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He has lectured and worked with a variety of Fortune 100 companies, as well as the Secret Service, the IRS, and an assortment of profit and non-profit organizations.
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Devin is the author of 20 books and has lectured in more than 15 countries. He lives in San Diego, California with his wife of four daughters and to rescue dogs. So thanks so much for joining us today, Devin.
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Thank you for having me.
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Super excited to be here with everybody, for the next 59 minutes.
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We’re going to talk all things work-place…wellness!
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And if you had not notice, folks, I have a strong, and I mean STRONG bias towards Joy. That’s J-O-Y!
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So we’re going to have a little fun today. I hope that’s OK. Hopefully no one is allergic to Joy, Sarah.
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So, let’s do this, or not. Our plan today is to connect, reflect, apply and debrief.
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And I will say this to be radically transparent. This is going to be very interactive. There will be no lecture today, but as best I can. I want to hear your voice. I’m going to ask you to get you involved, and my goal is for you to leave here.
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Let me say that again. My goal is for you to leave here a better version of yourself.
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So, Sarah, are we ready?
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We are ready and we have another ‘Sarah’ chatting in here that says she cannot wait.
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Yes, I think this is Sarah, Sarah, the crowds going crazy. Is there? Yes, they are. You’re a rock star, All right. Now, this is not my session, folks, this is our session.
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I’d like you to just process these group agreements.
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Just make sure we’re OK with these. I’m gonna give you NaN just to process these just for a second.
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If we’re OK with that in the questions, we’re just a little practice. In the questions tab, Just go input, yes.
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And the yeses are rolling.
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And everyone is ready, OK. All right, great group Sarah. now.
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There are two worlds. We live in folk’s, yes, there are two worlds who knew.
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Who knew there’s the external world which is kinda sorta where we tend to spend a lot of time our focus energy in our mind share.
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Unfortunately we don’t have a lot of lot of control or influence or the external world, I can’t control inflation the economy. Just stuff life, in general.
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Then there’s the internal world, which we can influence or control how we show up in it.
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In my short time here, today, we’re going to focus on this.
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I hope that’s OK! And we’ll put it in context.
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So, my first ask for this fabulous, and, I mean, fabulous group.
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If your life was a book, what is this chapter called?
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And why, in the Questions tab Do answer?
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I’d love to hear it.
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If your life was a book, what does this chapter call it and why?
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Wow, OK, so we have some responses streaming in here. Valerie said at time of renewal.
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Stacey said, Let it go.
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Tracy has that transition time.
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Lori said, working on me.
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He says, You need to get out more. I work from home and a couple more here.
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We have so many coming through, we have, Kate says, Toddler, Mom, Christine Trial and Error, and Angelina said, Bad luck.
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OK, if you’re live, got it.
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All right, well, thank you so much for weighing in on that, because these are interesting times Now, the topic at hand is work Place wellness.
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We’re going to talk about all things workplace wellness, but I have a slightly different slant on it.
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In some cases, which I am excited to share with all of you today, I will talk about what success looks like, and then, again, with your permission, I’m going to share with you some resources that are available for you to operationalize the best version of you.
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All right.
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So, that said, before I got on here today, I noticed a study, and I love research. I’m a researcher at heart, and I spent a lot of time, well, let me give you the overview of this study.
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In the UK, they wanted to see if they could generate what they call it … mood, boosting values. In other words, could they flip the frown on the other way around.
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Could you get someone who’s in a, say, struggling emotionally or in a bad mood?
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What could you do to flip the script?
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Could you actually hijacks someone, their brain and get them to be in a better mood?
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So that was the frame.
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Now I would imagine that all of us know certain people at work, then our personal lives sutent sometimes the gist be a little indifferent, some say cynical negative, whatever it might be.
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All right, so that’s the research.
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Now, there was one thing.
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And the research, one vein that emerged, which was the equivalent to the brain, of giving someone 2000 chocolate bars.
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Now, I don’t know about you, Sarah, but 2000 chocolate bars is a lot of joy, would you agree?
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I would agree.
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Now, yeah, I’ll wonder, Suspenseful, what is it? I imagine?
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Yes, you are, What do you think the magic stimulus was?
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I’m asking, in questions tab, What do you think? What was the magic stimulus that was enable someone to flip the script and go from a bad mood to a good mood?
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What do you think?
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We have Barbara says Joy! Laurie said: Smile.
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Ivana says: Positivity, Kimberly’s says praise Tracy said sunlight, we have appreciation, puppies, smiling or lapping, social media money. We have a lot of smiles coming through. Laughter. It’s free and one more here from Wendy will share. that says Belly laugh.
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Ability, OK.
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Now sir, you said this was a great group, but indeed it is. Well, it was this.
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A smile.
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Yes, a smile.
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Now you’re probably wondering, really, oh, really?
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Yes. Because when someone smiles at you, what do you do back?
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You tend to smile back.
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Why?
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Because the brain has a mirror neurons, we tend to mirror what we see.
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So I asked you, how do people show up, where you work, Anon Zoom calls and team calls and webinars? Are they smile it or not? Let’s unpack this. Is that further got into the research?
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Absolutely, The brain will start to feel better when it is around people.
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So the Adages fake it till you make, It actually works in terms of smiling, so I would say this, how you enter a space and how you leave a space is as important as what happens in this space.
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Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, I want you to ponder that for a second.
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I looked at some more research for you baseball fans.
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Did you know Smilin as a predictor of longevity, there was some research out of Wayne State University.
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They looked at baseball cards, as you can see here, there’s two examples.
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one card, the major leaguer smiling, the other is not.
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Why does that matter?
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Well when they looked retrospectively, the smiling baseball players live almost seven years longer than the ones who worked.
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Mmm hmm, Pretty fascinating.
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So I say this to all of you, as we, as I talk to you today, if the people in your inner circle, if they’re not smiling, are grateful or joyful, We’re talking about things like hope.
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In love, you don’t have an inner circle, folks.
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You have a cage.
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See your diet is not just what you eat.
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It’s what you read, which you watch, what you listen to and the people you hang around be very, very careful about who you allow in your inner circle.
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The research is pretty clear.
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Now, this woman said, and I quote, Peace begins with a smile.
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So we’re going to have a little practice.
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What I’d like you to do if you would, and it’s a small ask, little bit off. A little bit crazy, if you have a phone.
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I’d like you to take the biggest selfie picture of yourself smiling right now and I want you to send it to someone in your network.
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Don’t tell them why.
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Just big, old smile?
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Like, take a selfie and send it to a friend or family member.
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And let’s see what kind of response you get back.
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I’m gonna give you NaN right now to share a smile with someone in your work network, your family, or your friend network. Right now, you’ve got NaN to go. That is your mission.
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Give you a few more seconds.
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All right, well, fantastic.
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Now, if you get a response, which, I imagine some of you might, in the questions tab, please share.
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I’d love to hear, maybe tell them what you’re doing.
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Because what we’re doing is like my beloved mother used to say that sharing is caring.
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and we live in a world right now that our greatest addiction is sharing all the bad stuff.
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I’m gonna imagine there’s lots of good stuff too.
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All right, let’s continue. So let’s dive in further folks. This is amazing thus far. Today is a big day. Sarah, do you know what today is?
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Now, what’s today?
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Today is well being Wednesday.
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Whoa, no.
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Who knew?
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And I would be remiss if I did not celebrate well-being Wednesday.
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So in the honor of well-being, Wednesday, and this webinar on workplace wellness, we’re going to dive in.
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I’m gonna give you each three prompts and I want you to process these.
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And if you would, share them in the questions tab, I’ll give you the first one.
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What’s one thing you feel most excited about doing in April?
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We have a reign ending golfing, going to LA, being outside in the sun, finishing Ramadan, taking a vacation, getting my garden ready, celebrating my birthday, being outside, going away, Sutton’s Clay. Easter, planting, flowers, cruising a barbecue, sitting outside, so many great ones coming through.
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All right, let’s continue, We’re doing fantastic.
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one thing, you’re grateful about work right now.
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Gail says, not going home in the dark anymore. Stability that I haven’t job.
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My Rockstar team, some were having a job and not being laid off with a lot of those coming through, having a strong support network, a hybrid work arrangements, creating new learning content, co-workers, my flexibility, and then an amazing super supervisor or something that we received.
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Got it. All right, last 1, 1 person you’re most thankful for.
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Besides me, obviously.
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Let’s see, my mom, my daughter, my grandmother, my husband, my best friend, my wife, my dad.
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Oh, so many coming through here about, you know, being really thankful for their family members, their sisters, their kids, their their grandfathers, their husbands, and their wives and their children.
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Did my name show up at all?
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Your name did not show up this time, Devin. Alright, there’s always next time I call these the three appreciations folks.
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You see how you start your day and how you’re in your day is really, really important. You see I bookend my day.
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Well, this is not just hopeful happenstance with me.
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I’m very intentional about it.
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I start my day, filling my cup. We’ll talk about that.
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But again, if I want to be in a better place emotionally, then I need to be very intentional. We’ll talk about that. I call. This is three appreciation again how you start your day and how you in your day?
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Now that said here is my daily self love checklist.
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This is what I do every day.
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It varies nuance, but this is the one I’m working on now.
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And you can see, I start my day off with something that I’m grateful for, which is what I had all of you do today.
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You see if it’s important, we find the time.
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If it’s not important, we find an excuse and you can see here, wellness is a big deal to me, I’m a better human being when I take care of myself.
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I can share it with others. Now, that’s my list, and it’s not really about me.
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I said that in the beginning.
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It’s about us.
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What I’d like you to do, right now, if you would, I’m going to give you a little bit of time.
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If that index card was sitting next to you or something equivalent, what are 2 or 3 things?
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You would put it on your daily self love checklist.
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Would you mind sharing in the Questions tab, maybe, kinda sorta? Would that be OK?
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So I’m gonna give you a few seconds right now, Here’s my list, what would be on yours based on where you are right now.
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With lights you up, what do you need to do more to be a better version of view? I’m going to be quiet to want to share in the questions, that’d be great.
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We are praying, exercising, admiring, the beauty in the world around me, affirmation deep breathing, holding boundaries, and saying yes, for rest, gratitude.
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Being able to read the Bible, physical activity, Having saved me time, smiling, more, practicing patients, completing tasks, being in touch with nature, drinking more water, hugging my husband, organizing so many great ones coming through.
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Got it, that’s fantastic. Now again, I would, I’m gonna suggest that you need to have a list. Now, whether you write it down or not, that’s up to you.
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But I think having a list clearly shows, it’s important. Now, assuming that some of you sent that selfie out with a big smile as anybody gotten a response back yet.
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We did hear some responses come through so we have laugh at heart. Lori said her son she got was your hair’s a mess. Michelle said that. She got out woohoo from her colleague.
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I got the acute response, my daughter said, what are you creep in four? I have a towel on my head. I got a photo back and the laughing crying emoji, you look great.
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And Zelda set her husband sent her the smiling heart emoji.
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Got it now I know that seems silly, but I will tell you this I take two minutes a day for my wellness also. And I think about a human being in my life that matters.
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And if I can’t call them or see them, a text or an e-mail and let them know You see folks.
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We’re all going through something right now, and sometimes a text or e-mail from you Could Make a huge difference. See? Have you noticed?
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Did it takes a funeral for the friends, the family, and the food to show up?
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If there’s amazing people in your life right now, Why aren’t we letting them know more often?
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Because if you’re not letting them know who is Think about it. Now, that aside, I ask you these questions, right? The one person I’m most thankful for right?
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You just went through it, etcetera. You just did it. So these are the prompts and I have many of them like it.
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What I’d like you to do right now, because we’re going to go next level, because I told you right here, that’s not about knowing It’s about doing whoever that person is.
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What I’d like you do to that one person that you’re most grateful for.
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I want you to grab your phone again, and I want you to text that human being right now, or e-mail them, or whatever you got, and let them know how grateful you are for right now. Let’s do it.
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I’m gonna give you NaN, whoever that person is that you’re most grateful for in your life, personal, professional, whomever.
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Grab your phone and text them in your own authentic way. Let them know on well-being Wednesday that you’re thinking about, I’m grateful for them.
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You love them, you appreciate them, you miss them, whatever it is, you let them know right now.
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They don’t want you to do it now.
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Truth be told, some of you are gonna get a response back like this, is everything, OK?
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They might be surprised because too often, we share stuff like that when something’s wrong, and I want you to get in the habit of just checking in and let people know how grateful you are.
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So I’m gonna be quiet, I’m gonna give you 30 more seconds, to let another human being know how grateful you are form right now. Let’s do it as a group.
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All right, Mission accomplished. I would be. I would love to see, and, again, share, if you’d like.
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Sarah, interrupt me and whenever, if anybody gets a response back on one of those grateful texts.
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All right. Angela chimed in and said, What did I do?
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Question Mark is the response that she received mm. Then you said, Why did you text me with a heart emoji? Colleen said, Oh, thank you. Tammy received a smile, Emoji, and a heart emoji.
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Carmina received, I got OK, thanks, question, Mark.
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Kimberly got a I receive too.
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Lori said, LLL, I did, my daughter, I love you, to, Mom, is there’s something wrong.
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Told you.
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Brenda received a response from her husband saying, You are my world.
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Kimberly, you got NYC text without you, there a few responses that we received from the audience today.
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Love that, love that, again, to two minutes or less, just to let another human being know that you’re thinking about it.
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Truth be told, folks, it’s a big deal. Now, let me unpack some of the science behind this, 50% of your well-being, or your happiness, is in your genes. You inherited from mom or Dad.
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Yes, there is a genetic disposition to your, your well-being, 10% or circumstances, things out of your control, like the economy, just stuff, Right?
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Which is the external world, Which is what I told you is we started. We’re not going to spend any time there. But 40% based on the current level of research or things that you can do.
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What I call activities or practices to be a better version of you to operationalize your wellness.
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Now, that aside, you need to keep your cup full because you cannot pour from an empty cup.
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Now, talking about well-being, I noticed this sign when you enter the hospital about it processed this for a second.
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What do you think about this, terms of wellness, and how you show up at work? You thoughts on that?
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We have some comments coming through. A lot of people are saying, I love this. But this was awesome.
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Seems to be the I could not love the sign more from Whitney.
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Right?
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Valerie said that were to remind me to show up that way, myself I think it’s fabulous, I took a screenshot, Laurie said.
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Um, Valdes said, We need these signs for act for reminders and accountability.
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Crazy said, it’s sad that if necessary Clara says positive vibes.
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And Susan says I’m going to use this same. Love it. That’s why I’m sharing about this is, again, when we talk about operationalizing wellness, you cannot pour from an empty cup.
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So taking care of ourselves is a big deal, but also, sending the message that how you show up, how you engage your words, and your behaviors affects everybody else.
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So, that aside, so what is wellness?
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Well, again, it means different things, but I just did a world cloud on what wellness is, and again, these different things in terms of our personal and professional lives.
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Now, the academic definition, again, when we take care of ourselves, OK, I think we get it.
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Now, there’s a variety of different examples of wellness from financial wellness, spiritual wellness, social, physical intellectual. I could go on and on.
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I’ve just shared with you to give you a little bit of context, but I think intuitively we get it and I think intuitively we want more of it.
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But knowing is usually not enough.
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So, I asked you, what does workplace wellness mean to you right now? Where you are in your career? I say workplace wellness, you’d say, what? In questions. real quick. What comes to mind?
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Support Keith balance of work from home life, being tested, validation connections with the other staff, needs help, but we are trying bouncing peace, positive environment, work-life balance.
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Friendship, satisfaction and team are a few of the responses we received.
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Got it. Oh, that’s fantastic.
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So let’s see about that, So I’m going to share with you three variations of that.
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When I talked about benchmarks, and again, I talked about this, and this metaphor of the cup, so I would argue that self care is not selfish, so what is self care?
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Again, my definition, taking care of your mental, physical, and emotional well-being.
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Analogous to the sign, there was an Indiana health.
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Are you bringing the best version of you before you enter the door, mentally, physically, and emotionally?
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Because we know from the research that our motions are, are, they spread, just like the common cold, so the importance of self care, again, reduce stress, and enhance your quality of life, be a better version of you.
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So, if I ask all of you, and, again, please, weigh in. Do you think you are at your best, when you feel your best would you agree with that statement?
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We have everyone’s saying, yes.
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We did have one person saying, 90%, OK, enough, agreed, 100%.
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All right, so I’m gonna ask one more question, that if I say to you, are you, do you perform better when you feel better? Would you agree with that?
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And we have 100% yes, coming through. We do have 1% thing sometimes, and not necessarily.
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OK. So again, I don’t know who that is. But I’m gonna argue that the best version of view is when you’re in a better place mostly. Because if you flip the script. If I say to you do you think you perform best when you’re negative cynical, stressed out and depleted and indifferent.
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Of course not. Do you think professional athletes perform better when they feel better?
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Yeah. Do you think kids perform better in a classroom when they feel better? Yeah.
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I bought musicians, you see, again, taking care of yourself is a pretty big deal and how we could certainly nuance, how we are, in terms of our own well-being. I’m not suggesting that you need to be Pollyanna and Tone Deaf to what’s going on.
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I’m just saying, when you’re in a better place, mostly like, you just feel better. Now, if that’s the case, it starts with self care. Again, I’m not going to nuance and get into the weeds on what you do or not do.
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But I’m gonna suggest that when you take care of yourself first, again, you’re more resilient, more satisfied.
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You’re more creative, all of the above.
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And you know what, also, when you have a full cup, folks, you can pour into others.
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Yes, you can.
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So your teammates, your classmates, your family members, yes, when they’re struggling and you have a full cup, you have more to give, so you cannot give what you do not have.
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Let me say that again. You cannot give what you do not have.
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And so you need to start taking better care of yourself. Now when we don’t do that, which, again, if you’ve looked at the research right now, globally, right now burnout, is it at big eyes?
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Yes. We’ve got more burned out folks who work than we’ve ever had that are emotionally exhausted.
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Indifferent.
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Lack passion, vision, purpose, disengagement, relationships. Now I’m not suggesting or apply, and that’s you, but I am suggesting that we kinda sorta have a problem.
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So what do you think the primary causes of burnout right now are in the new normal, based on your experience, What do you think? What’s causing all the burnout?
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We have indifferent leadership.
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Gail says, Not taking the time for self X as stressful. Valerie said, Lack of support, and Christy said, Lack of employees.
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Swanson said about having a bad boss. Lisa says, Lack of boundaries, we also have negativity, all work, and no play, lack of reward, labor, shortage, overworked change. The lack of forward positive changed a lot of overwork coming, coming through that the comment section.
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Got it. So, I’m going to share with you a few and all of yours are valid.
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Some of you said it excessive workload, It seemed like, so that was the primary one that I heard.
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Yeah, that seems to be the number one coming through here, comment coming through.
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And again, some others, little control or autonomy in year old, which means choice. The lack of boundaries.
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Some people say perfectionism, and then poor self care.
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So let’s focus on that for a second.
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I’m going to ask, and I told you this is going to be interactive. What have you done?
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If we know this to be true, that self care is a big deal, and we know that burn outs at record lows, and you’re a better version when you take care of yourself.
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I’m curious, what things have you done for yourself care?
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If anything, please do weigh in. If you could share with me, I’d love to hear it.
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Colleen says, having boundaries that work, Asia says getting a medicare slash pedicure.
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And Christine says, Cry, Vinita said, therapy. Anika says, Taking time off when needed, Pam says exercise.
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We have meditation to make and eat healthy lunches, having an emotional support dog, taking a walk during your lunch break.
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Exercising, reading for pleasure, daily walks, needing more asleep, utilizing my paid leave, having a mourning, ritual, yoga, laughing, working out. We have a lot of people that are taking advantage of making sure that they’re, they’re exercising and having a healthy lifestyle.
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Got it.
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All right, well that’s a great group, Now, I’m gonna give you some additional things to think about in terms of work, because too often we think about wellness and work like there.
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Like they don’t coexist, here are some things you might consider in terms of professional self care.
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Again, do you connect with your boss? Do you have one on ones, what do you talk about? Are they merely transactional? Or could you build a better relationship?
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How about a peer support group?
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Outside of your relationships with the people you work with?
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See, it’s harder to build those relationships right now, because we’re either remote or hybrid, some people were higher during tova, you’ve never even met him, I really don’t know.
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Could we do a better job of setting boundaries?
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Some people get self care from reading, work chortles professional journals, share good news and 10 professional development programs like this. I think there’s a variety of ways I think wellness should be integrated into the work that we do.
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Because if I’m a better version of me when I’m in one of my cups for that I want to find opportunities to embed wellness into the work. Now here’s some again, I’m not preaching, but here’s some things for your physical self care.
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I heard picking a dog for a walk, which I did this morning.
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Here’s some things again that I tend to do and think worked pretty well for me.
32:06
This is in terms of my physical self care.
32:09
Now, I know you’re laughing the bubble bath.
32:11
Yes I do like candles and calm and using sometimes if I’ve had a stressful day. Now, how about psychological self care?
32:19
It’s an important, kinds of sorta.
32:21
Here’s some things, again, that you might consider, and some of you are already doing this, which is fantastic. The fourth bullet is really, really important to turn off your e-mail and work phone. Outside of work hours.
32:34
Yes. How many of us check our e-mail and work phone outside of work hours? Don’t weigh in, because I know some of you do. And some of that, unfortunately, is an expectation.
32:44
What else? How about emotional self care? Does that matter?
32:48
Yeah, You can notice number two, write down three good things that happen every single day.
32:53
Again, investing in those relationships. To keep our cups full and I’m talking about it at work and on a personal. What could we do a better job of that, I say? Yes.
33:05
How about spiritual self care? I heard the Bible earlier, whatever religion you might be. I heard meditation earlier. Go on mindful walks without your phone, Do yoga?
33:15
Do things again, a variety of different ways to keep Cupp Boll, is it always easy?
33:25
No, and I mentioned earlier, be very careful about the folks that you associate with.
33:31
If the folks in your inner circle are they pulling into your cup or poking holes in it, know, the difference.
33:40
Let me say that again.
33:42
If the folks in your inner circle at work and at home, are they pouring into your cup or poking holes in your car, do know the difference. All right. Social self care, again, relationships.
33:57
What could you do? And there’s a variety of different ways in terms of wellness, both at work, and in your personal life, to operationalize wellness, to spend more quality time with people who make you feel better.
34:12
Now, it helps, at least with me, if I have a plan.
34:17
Yes, again, this is a plan that I have.
34:21
Building a self care plan that I designed with everything I’ve articulated in, tell people to evaluate, number one, I have coping skills, sometimes things get heavy.
34:33
Things like happens.
34:35
And when they do, it’s nice to have a go to in terms of how you’re going to get through the storm.
34:41
And so, here’s just an example of a plan that I have created. And you can see here, … and all the different modalities of self care.
34:50
Then what are the practices, and what am I going to do, and how am I going to start.
34:55
Very intention, though, you notice, it says daily.
34:59
Doesn’t say weekly or monthly.
35:01
It says daily just like brushing my teeth.
35:05
Yes, we do it daily, then I have emergency self care when things get really heavy.
35:11
What do I do? Who do I turn to? What are the conversations like? How do I get myself to be a better version of myself?
35:20
And, again, just a bunch of different activities here. I’ve mentioned many on this, some of you already doing this, but this is something that you could certainly refer to and share with others.
35:30
Because things do happen.
35:33
I noticed this the other day at a client as I walked in going through a lot of heaviness And I noticed this was on the wall reminding people it’s OK to take care of yourself.
35:46
Just like the Indiana health thing and a little different communication style. So, what I’d like you to do right now, based on all of that, is we pivot here.
35:56
What are two self activities you are going to start today to commit to, to start to do daily?
36:01
In questions right now, I want to solve activities that you’re going to commit to, and you’re going to start today, To keep a couple got NaN right now.
36:16
If you want to share, that’d be great.
36:18
Let’s put them into questions.
36:20
We have walking and meetings, and walk dog reading. Take a short walk, drink more water, 15 minutes of yoga, scrapbooking, reading more, taking a walk every day, going on evening, locks, walking and eating healthier.
36:40
We have Brenda said, Oh, this is hard. Breathe before work shifts start.
36:46
Gratitude journal long, walk with the dog, quiet time in walking, sleeping, more, smiling, daily, exercising, a couple more here, we have daily walking and smiling more gardening and taking. Talking to cool people more.
37:02
Wow, all right, so love that.
37:04
Now, I’m going to share this with Sarah.
37:07
If you would like this handout, though, again, you can certainly we will send it to you for free.
37:14
My e-mail address is up there for my team. I’m also going to share, and, again, it’s just a free complement, or a resource, to this webinar today, if you’d like this, I would ask you again, just let us know, and we’d be happy to get it to you. Alright? So, what else?
37:29
Boundaries, Those are a big deal.
37:32
I mentioned note up, because we always meanwhile, but we don’t always do well, and again, the heaviness of work.
37:41
So when I say boundaries, you say what?
37:46
In the questions tab, what are boundaries in the context of your personal and professional? What comes to mind, I’d love to hear.
37:52
Which, you have to say, What are boundaries?
37:57
And when he says necessary, Tracy says, Allowing myself to say, Now. Lisa says an absolute must!
38:06
Valerie says Priorities.
38:09
Chanda says, I need them.
38:12
Rose said invading my personal space. We have defending limits.
38:17
Personal values, the do’s and don’ts, time management, and guardrails, not overstepping anything, safety, delegating, saying no and sticking to it.
38:28
A couple more I’ll read off here are relief ethics. I’m happier when I have them and make a decision.
38:35
Wow, I love that.
38:37
So I’m a big fan of Renee Brown.
38:39
I’m going to presume that many of you know her, and I love this.
38:44
I’m going to read it, so Bernays says Boundaries are finding our way to become generous towards others, while continuing to lead with integrity and staying true to ourselves. So yourself.
38:54
Setting boundaries means prioritizing your needs and practicing self care without feeling guilty.
39:00
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm seems pretty symmetric on what I just talked about, taking care of yourself first so that you can take care of others.
39:10
Now, what is a boundary?
39:14
Well, I look at it.
39:15
It’s kind of sort of like kind of like a gate or a fence to your backyard. You see here the gatekeeper.
39:22
You decide who you let it and who you lead out.
39:26
All right?
39:28
And again, professional boundaries are complex. I know it’s not always easy, in certain cases, to establish professional boundaries.
39:37
Because, again, we’ve got bosses, and other stuff, and norms, and culture, and everything else.
39:45
So let’s put it in context.
39:47
Set limits in all relationships, in terms of what’s acceptable.
39:52
What’s not. I call them, somewhat with my work, kinda like agreements.
39:59
In terms of how we show up, how we engage, How we communicate. What expectation, you see, I would argue in terms of workplace wellness. These are conversations you need to have on your team.
40:09
Yes. Boundaries, seems to show up on the agenda.
40:12
What do they look like?
40:13
What’s serving us? What is it?
40:16
And again, having these conversations with people at work clearly signals that they’re a big deal. And I imagine that other people are feeling them, too.
40:24
And is there an opportunity to set some guardrails, or some limits?
40:28
What are the consequences of having poor boundaries?
40:32
Are there consequences of having poor boundaries?
40:35
What do you think? What happens if we have poor boundaries at work?
40:38
What’s the impact on us? Our teams and our organizations, please weigh in, if you would.
40:47
We have burnout, You get dumped on, disengagement, drama, overloaded, exhaustion, not getting your work done, communication issues, conflicts with a lot of people saying, burnout at the top. The top comment here. Getting depleted distracted, procrastination, conflict, and underperformance.
41:12
Got it, love that.
41:14
And again, when we talk about unhealthy boundaries, people are mostly distant, right?
41:21
Some people overshare, right, is it difficult saying no to the request of others. My wife has this challenge. She’s a teacher. Whenever she gets asked to do something, or join a committee, she feels obligated to say yes, even though she doesn’t have the bandwidth to do it.
41:37
And again, just looking at some of these, again, unhealthy boundaries, and some of the characteristics of how they show up.
41:45
What are healthy boundaries look like? And, again, I’m not going to read this slide to you.
41:49
But they’re physical and emotional.
41:51
They’re just guardrails their limits on how we like to engage and how group, how, as a group or department, we engage in these conversations, I would encourage all of you to have, Maybe you start one-on-one with your boss or your supervisor.
42:08
What’s working?
42:10
What’s not? You see right now, if you look at the current level of research, boundaries have been blown up. They’ve been expanded.
42:15
We’ve got more people working more weekends and more nights that we’ve ever had because we’re not showing up in the office.
42:22
So, invariably, the office is now the kitchen table or the island.
42:25
And so, when e-mails and stuff comes in at weekends and on vacation, people feel obligated to respond.
42:33
So, what are some characteristics and traits of healthy boundaries? We value everybody’s opinion.
42:39
We don’t compromise our values, we share personal information to get to know people, but we don’t overshare.
42:46
We understand the personal needs and wants of the people on our team, and when people say no, that’s OK, it’s OK!
42:54
Because maybe they don’t have the bandwidth or something’s going on, It doesn’t mean that they’re mean, or they don’t want to help, but they can have honest and real conversations.
43:05
Now, to be fair, most people have a mix of different boundary types.
43:09
Now, again, in your personal and professional life, from your personal relationship, romantic relationships, it all depends on the setting and context.
43:17
Different cultures have different expectations on what comes to boundaries.
43:20
The point of this is, is that we all have them, and we need to be very clear and establishing them, both at our personal and our professional lives.
43:29
Boundaries are certainly our balance, that balance between our needs and other people’s needs.
43:34
So I would say this, if you feel like your boundaries are being stretched, here are some questions to ask yourself, whose needs are really being met here?
43:45
What’s the impact?
43:46
Am I the sole provider, am I resent for feeling burned out because of this?
43:52
These are just essentially kind of a filter for myself, when I feel that my boundaries are being stretched.
44:01
Just some questions that helped me reframe the situation and if I answer these mm hmm, then maybe kinda sorta I need to have a conversation with them and let them know or the group Let them know how I’m feeling.
44:15
Is that hard, sometimes? Is it necessary? Absolutely. Here’s some strategies for your external environment.
44:23
Yes, learn to say no.
44:25
Yes, I don’t have the time. I can’t. Everything cannot be urgent.
44:29
Sometimes you have to be good at disappointing offers.
44:33
Yes, you do Schedule activities deep time. You know how often I’ve scheduled time on my calendar, blocked out my calendar to do deep work, and people scheduled meetings right through my calendar, when I was off.
44:46
What was the message to me?
44:48
Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, not so good.
44:50
Again, just opportunities, break it down into tasks, into smaller tasks, you know?
44:55
It makes me feel better, and I heard some of you articulate earlier when I get stuff done, I want to accomplish things.
45:03
I’m big list, create timeframes. I reward myself when I get completed. At the end of this webinar, actually, I’m gonna go take a walk with my dog. That’s my reward in embedding wellness right into the work itself. I do a 50 10 rule.
45:17
Yes, I work hard for 50 minutes, and I take a 10 minute break. That’s how it worked the entire day.
45:22
Again, that’s just another example how to embed any meeting that I’m involved in.
45:27
when I was in corporate America, when I was running commercial teams, I only have 15 minute meetings. That gives people 10 minutes to go do something else, do something for the wellness, get ready for the next meeting.
45:41
So, from today on, you have a new family member, and her name is routine.
45:45
So let’s stick with the basics, your work hours, Again, these are things to think about. Here’s my routine.
45:53
I would argue that you need to have a similar routine, to automate it, to be the best version of you and I get up a little early.
46:01
I’m not suggesting that you have to get up at five AM What I’m suggesting is I get up at the same time. I’m very intentional about my hours, my self care, and my social to be a better version of me.
46:14
So, create a routine, some of you might have it.
46:17
Whatever that might be, is a ripe opportunity for a little bit of a makeover. So.
46:21
You incorporating self care in boundaries into your personal and professional life.
46:28
So, how do I get started? Again, I have a worksheet that I’d be happy to share.
46:34
If you want it, I’ll share it here, you’re happy to e-mail the team and we’ll send it to you to help you create better boundaries.
46:44
All right, fantastic. Some other questions for you to consider. These are just thoughts.
46:50
When we are establishing boundaries, am I showing myself kindness in the task that uncompleted by developing authentic real connections with space, and I love this question with space, do I need to give myself to focus on being present, and accept my thoughts and films without judgement, but how am I really doing?
47:08
Yes, How am I really doing the question, I often ask myself to recalibrate.
47:13
All right, We’re rolling. We are rolling. And we’re rolling.
47:18
What else? Something often, we don’t think about in terms of wellness or goals.
47:23
Why do I put that in there?
47:24
Because I feel better, Like many of you, when I have goals, and I take action, and I get stuff done, Forget about setting goals necessarily.
47:35
What I want you to focus on are systems.
47:38
I want you to have goals, and most of us do, but systems, you see, you do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.
47:48
I found this quote by a gentleman named James Clear, so book that I love, and he’s correct, you do not rise to the level of your goals. You follow the level of your systems.
47:58
Goal’s had always been there, It was the system that change when you accomplished it.
48:04
What do I mean by system? Failure happens when people try to change their goals without changing their system.
48:10
So, what do I mean by system? Well, system is structured system is your routine system, things are things that make it easier for you to accomplish your goals.
48:20
But really what it’s about, our habits, which are part of this system. You see, what we do daily are things that matter.
48:29
So what does it happen?
48:32
We, again, I’m not asking you for examples of what does it have?
48:36
Habit is essentially something that allows you to do things with less energy and effort, right. Pretty simple.
48:42
Well, we’re doing this work that I do and around the globe and well some of the highest performers on the planet.
48:47
Some of the highest performance on the planet have one thing: different than many other people.
48:51
They just have high performance habits. They have wellness habits. Wellness is a habit.
48:56
If it matters, you do it daily, which again, I want that’s why I wanted you to commit to something that you would do daily.
49:03
There’s something called the two minute rule, The two minute rule.
49:07
if you want to establish the new routine or habit, you need to make it as easy as possible to start, it should take two minutes or less to start. So, for example, if you want to start working, now, I would argue that maybe you take your workout clothes and you put them somewhere in the morning, so you see them right away, and you already put them out. So you don’t have to work. Look for them, They’re already there. If you want to eat better, it helps if you have the appropriate food in the house.
49:36
That’s part of your system, hopefully everybody’s following me here. If you make it easier for you to be a better version of you, then you’re more likely to do it.
49:46
And again, a habit must be established before it can be improved.
49:50
Half the half the battle is just starting.
49:54
The only reason we repeat these behaviors, because we liked them, they make us feel good, not at first, but as we continue to do that, which is why I tend to have a reward after I do something, like after this webinar. The reward for me is walking with my dog.
50:10
It makes me feel better.
50:12
And progress is more satisfying, when you can see it, when it’s visible, especially around our wellness.
50:22
And wellness is not a finish line to be crossed.
50:25
It’s the lifestyle to be live, and it starts daily with that.
50:32
Sarah, I’m going to open it up with any questions we have for the group.
50:38
Great, to see if you have any questions.
50:40
Drop those into that questions box there, We have about 10 minutes here to answer those bore you.
50:47
And our first question here is coming from Amy, who asks, what are the best organizations do to create a healthy workplace culture?
50:57
Well, first of all, the best organizations that I have seen, based on my experience, is one that isn’t culture. So, I love that you were the culture. If well-being is not a part of the discussion in your culture.
51:10
Hmm, hmm, hmm, Then, you’re missing an opportunity. And, again, I would suggest that well-being and wellness needs to be integrated into that culture.
51:18
So for example, I would take all the things that you do already, and we’ve talked about a few, but for example, all of us have a series of meetings. Do we not?
51:28
I think there’s an opportunity to integrate wellness into the meetings.
51:32
Did you notice how I started this webinar?
51:34
I started with some welby, maybe how you start your meeting is that you give everyone a couple of minutes to write down something they’re grateful for, or to share some good news, or to connect emotionally. I would look at the things that you’re already doing.
51:47
It work one-on-one and as a group. And is there an opportunity to give them a little bit of a makeover?
51:54
Yes, integrates a little bit of feel good into itself.
51:58
Second, again, not everyone is into yoga or perks or parties or fujioka gene days. I think we need to go to … in terms of wellness. We need to start having conversations, and our one-on-one, and our teams, asking people how they feel, which is a big thing, too, often we don’t.
52:18
And to what are some things that we can do is group to help people be a better version of themselves, to support them, in terms of boundaries and wellness?
52:27
So having these conversations is a big step from that there are a variety of different tools that you could operationalized that are authentic to you that don’t cost a lot of money that you could culturally make people feel that, yes, culturally, we do care about you as a human being.
52:43
Great. And this next question here is coming from Alex, who would like to know, How do you create a routine, and then stick to it? What are, what are the, you know, some tips or tricks that you can offer there? So there’s a concept called habit stacking.
52:58
And habit stacking is this. And I’ll give you the overview. You look at all your existing habits. So let’s start from the moment you get up.
53:07
Every day. I imagine you have a series of habits.
53:10
Then I’m not getting personal from brushing your teeth, taking a shower, eating breakfast, all that, whatever that might be. Look at everything. I want you to write down everything that you do, 365 days a year, and I imagine it’s very similar. Maybe weekends, it gets a little bit truncated. But look at that.
53:27
Once you have all your habits on paper, habit stacking is you integrate would, in other words, you stack habits. So the first thing I do is brush my teeth. When I wake up in the morning, I’m just using this as an example.
53:39
Habit stacking would be, maybe I put my workout clothes or I put my gratitude journal somewhere in my bathroom or somewhere so that when I’m in transit, to brush my teeth, I see the gratitude journal, I see my workout clothes.
53:56
So, what they do is they stack habits all day long.
53:59
They look for opportunities, because they know there are certain things that I do automatically.
54:04
And so, that, because of that, I’m going to insert a new habit right before that are right there, so that visually I get a visual cue, then I’m going to do it. Some people take no limit commute to work. They want to start to read more books so they’ll put books on tape.
54:18
Well, if you already commute, again, maybe you do or you do not.
54:22
Maybe you have the podcast or whatever loaded in advance so that you’re ready to execute lookup habit stacking, it’s a really powerful concept.
54:31
And I guess you’d like to know, how can I empower my employees to make healthier choices?
54:37
Yeah, I think you need to put it in context, right? And what I would do is start with yourself.
54:42
Right? Too often, we don’t leave, we want to make everyone else so I would have a conversation.
54:46
I would get my next meeting. Alright. However many employees, whether you’ve got 5 or 500 or whatever that looks like, it needs to show up on the agenda.
54:55
You see things on the agenda are signals that they matter. How often is wellness or well-being on your agenda?
55:02
Should it be?
55:03
I think so. And you need to put it in context. Hey folks, these are heavy times right now. I’m pretty stressed out myself.
55:10
I’m feeling it. I imagine many of you are, too.
55:13
Let me share with you some things, that I’m doing to help me. And I’d love to facilitate a conversation of what I can help you, and help each other.
55:22
You’ll be shocked. At some of the responses you get, folks, truth be told, I’ve traveled all over the world, and there’s one common denominator.
55:30
Everybody wants to feel better.
55:32
It may show up different, but having these conversations, clearly, signal’s, that’s a big deal. But put it on the agenda.
55:40
Let us show up, and then give people time, and space, to actually practice and operationalize some of it.
55:47
And this last question that we’ll answer here today, comes from Sally. Who would like to know, how can organic opportunities for connection be created in the workplace?
55:59
Yes. It’s harder and harder and a remote hybrid world, right. Because no one’s hanging around teams calls, and zooms in webinars to get to know each other. So you have to be intentional. You have to create space. If it’s in person, and they’re in the office 2 or 3 days a week, and they do gather, and you do hold meetings. I would absolutely make sure that there’s some opportunity in there for some organic connections to happen. Maybe again, you need to create some, some some modalities where people to connect, Maybe it’d be fun, maybe not. You could certainly use.
56:27
The meals are one way you bring in food to get people to connect with you. Give people, and, again, I wish we had more time, I could give you 100 different things, you could do some little practices, practices just to get people to get to know each other. Relationships just won’t happen on themselves, and too often, right now, in the new normal, they feel mostly transactional.
56:48
So if you don’t see people in person, then on the Zoom calls or team calls, you, can, you have to create space and have a little fun and get people to be a little bit more playful. I’ve had people, I’ve run gratitude, Challenges, for example.
57:00
30 days every single day as a group. We’re going to do one thing as a practice to do grateful and I pair people up. So, for example, Sarah and I may be partners for this gratitude challenge and our mission is every single day.
57:13
We’re going to check in with each other and just see how we’re doing and what I can do to support each other.
57:18
Little things like that where there’s no agenda other than checking in with another human being. You’ll start to see some of these relationships start to fast.
57:28
Great, and we had a comment that kind of piggybacks on that that I’d like to share where they’re actually implementing that. Marianne said that today they celebrated grilled cheese day by making grilled cheese sandwiches. And it was great something nice to share there.
57:43
Love it.
57:45
And, with that, that does bring us here to the top of the hour and the end of our session. Thank you so much Devin for a really energetic and empowering session today.
57:57
Thanks for… thanks for having me. I had a great time with everybody.
58:02
Yes, and today’s webinar was sponsored by HRDQstore, you can learn more about HRDQstore at HRDQstore.com. Thank you so much for participating in today’s webinar. Happy Training, everyone, and I look forward to seeing you all next week.