Have you found yourself suddenly involved in a conversation or altercation that you later regret? Do you have subconscious fears of you got there?
You may pride yourself on being level-headed and focused on collaboratively solving problems, but some monster just took over your brain and you said some things you later regret. You are left confused as to how you got into this situation, and you feel the shame of guilt of losing your way. Don’t hang your head too low, because all leaders have had subconscious fears at some point in their career – and usually more than once.
The source of these zombie take-overs are fears that we don’t even know we possess. Early life experiences connect these fears and they reside in our mid-brain as programs to keep us safe. Think back on the last time your brain got hijacked into a cringe-worthy response. Did you notice that just prior to your response, your breath shortened, your muscles tightened, your shoulders rose, your heartbeat accelerated? Probably not. We aren’t usually aware of these changes as they happen at lightning speed. Then, instead of using that physiological response to run or punch someone, we decide to stand our ground and fight with our tongue. And that tongue lashing can be just as damaging as our fists.
Register for the upcoming webinar: Avoiding the Hulk Effect: Knowing When Your Superpower Has Become Destructive to Your Team and Career
The great news is that these subconscious fears don’t have to stay hidden. We have ways to uncover what triggers our regrettable interactions. One of those ways is to learn your Superpower. Your Superpower is that hyperventilated strength you call on when things get stressful. It is an enviable gift that has served you well. However, when things get stressful, it can become too much. And much like Bruce Banner, when anger triggers your superpower, it becomes destructive. Anger is our adaptive response to fear.
Identifying your superpower can help you identify one of your primary fears that lead to triggering behavior. Let me give an example: I’m an incredible visionary. I easily help leaders picture the future. I see patterns and the big picture and painting a compelling future appears readily for me. It’s my gift and it is what got me noticed, promoted, and resulted in my corporate success. Who else are you going to ask to lead strategic planning or large-scale change but the leader with this superpower. It was a wonderful gift until stress put me in overdrive. Then, my fight-or-flight would unconsciously kick in, and I felt I had to get to that future right away – not next year, not next week – Now!
When this happened, I would push too hard. I would act like others didn’t understand the criticality of the situation. My mind chatter would scream, “Why don’t they see it?” I would say things I later regretted. My fear was of standing still. That tomorrow would not change. That we would not reach that better future. Status quo for me was scary. All of this was based on my own early experiences that gave me the mantra “tomorrow has to be a better day.” That gave me a wonderful gift, but also a dangerous weapon. Understanding this superpower and its wonderful gifts as well as destructive patterns was key to my future success.
Are you curious to find out what your Superpower is and what your unconscious fear might be? Join me for Avoiding the Hulk Effect: Knowing When Your Superpower Has Become Destructive to Your Team and Career – a webinar event hosted by HRDQ-U.
Uncover your Superpower and begin your journey on finding your fear and eliminating those self-sabotaging behaviors.
Written by Carlann Fergusson
