The Source of Subconscious Fears
The source of these zombie takeovers is subconscious fears – fears we don’t even know we possess. Early life experiences connect these fears, which reside in our mid-brain as programs to keep us safe. Remember the last time your brain got hijacked into a cringe-worthy response. Did you notice that just before your response, your breath shortened, your muscles tightened, your shoulders rose, and your heartbeat accelerated? Probably not. We aren’t usually aware of these changes as they happen at lightning speed. Then, instead of using that physiological response to run or punch someone, we decide to stand our ground and fight with our tongues. And that tongue-lashing can be just as damaging as our fists.
The Great News: Fears Can Be Uncovered
The great news is that these subconscious fears don’t have to stay hidden. We have ways to uncover what triggers our regrettable interactions. One of those ways is to learn your superpower. Your superpower is that hyperventilated strength you call on when things get stressful. It is an enviable gift that has served you well. However, when things get stressful, it can become too much. And much like Bruce Banner, when anger triggers your superpower, it becomes destructive. Anger is our adaptive response to fear.
Identifying your superpower can help you identify one of your primary fears that leads to triggering a behavior. Let me give an example: I’m an incredible visionary. I easily help leaders picture the future. I see patterns and the big picture, and painting a compelling future appears readily to me. It’s my gift, and it’s what got me noticed, promoted, and resulted in my corporate success. Who else will you ask to lead strategic planning or large-scale change but the leader with this superpower? It was a wonderful gift until stress put me in overdrive. Then, my fight-or-flight would unconsciously kick in, and I felt I had to get to that future right away – not next year, not next week, now!
When this happened, I would push too hard. I would act like others didn’t understand the criticality of the situation. My mind chatter would scream, “Why don’t they see it?” I would say things I later regretted. My fear was of standing still. That tomorrow would not change. That we would not reach a better future. The status quo for me was scary. All of this was based on my own early experiences that gave me the mantra, “Tomorrow has to be a better day.” That gave me a wonderful gift but also a dangerous weapon. Understanding this superpower and its wonderful gifts, as well as destructive patterns, was key to my future success.
Your Journey Begins Here
Are you curious to find out what your superpower is and what your unconscious fear might be? Join me for Avoiding the Hulk Effect: Knowing When Your Superpower Has Become Destructive to Your Team and Career, a webinar hosted by HRDQ-U. Uncover your superpower and begin your journey to finding your fear and eliminating those self-sabotaging behaviors.
