Boundaries, especially professional ones, are all about a clear understanding of what is part of a role and what isn’t. I also believe that agreement and acceptance are included. A boundary might not be liked by another, but acceptance is key, and as such, an agreement not to breach that boundary.

Types of Boundaries

Boundaries can be categorized as

1. Physical: This is probably the most obvious, visible, and the one that got a lot of attention in the workplace in the context of harassment, unwanted attention, etc. Physical means personal space and anything related to the body.

2. Emotional: This relates to feelings such as being undervalued, not listened to, upset, and guilty. These feelings are valid, and they can be a boundary issue when they are dismissed or gaslighted in the workplace.

3. Financial: Stealing, skimming, reckless spending, and inequitable allocation are all ways financial boundaries could be crossed or violated.

(Crossed boundaries: I see these as a break of a boundary, most likely inadvertently or done without malice. A violated boundary is one in which the breach was done with the intent to hurt.)

4. Intellectual: Disagreeing, disrespecting, and condescending someone’s views, ideas, and suggestions can raise the issue of needing a boundary. Gaslighting can happen here, too.

5. Personal: Being friends on Facebook with your boss or friends with some colleagues, yet not others, may affect personal boundaries. Prying into one’s personal life is an obvious example while over-sharing personal details is another breach that is common.

5 Tips for Setting Professional Boundaries

1. Define: Think about your boundaries before trying to set and hold them. Without first knowing your boundaries, you may inadvertently wax and wane and send inconsistent messages about what you will and won’t tolerate.

2. Your Priorities: Reflect on your boundaries in the context of your work. Your boundaries should help you control and protect your priorities – the most important work you do.

3. Communicate: If people don’t know you have a boundary, they’ll ask or expect. Make it easy for them to respect your boundaries and share them. Ask others what their boundaries are so you make it a mutually beneficial and respectful exchange.

4. If-then: Like the scaffolding around the house construction, it can be moved and adjusted to suit the needs of the workers and the house. Boundaries may need to be broken for the greater good. Don’t simply let that boundary go; make an agreement so others know it’s not a permanent shift. An if-then agreement will help you serve the greater good and reinstate the boundary without feeling like you’ve lost something.

 5. Role Model: Take the time to learn the boundaries of others. This will give you insight into your own boundaries, and it will help you not cross someone else’s boundaries. If you do cross a boundary, acknowledge and apologize so that you are demonstrating how you want to be treated when it happens to you.

Your boundaries, known and held, contribute to a strong level of self-leadership. Boundaries are evidence of self-respect, and as such, you’re successfully leading yourself. Brene Brown’s quote, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves even when we risk disappointing others,” acknowledges how boundaries can be a bit awkward, but if handled well, they can be relationship savers and productivity boosters for all involved.

What do you do to ensure your professional boundaries are not crossed?