By Laura Browne
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People are often reluctant to even try to negotiate for more money. Salary can be a scary topic to discuss; however, it’s important to learn to be comfortable talking about it. Let me share some examples of people I’ve worked with (names have been changed) so you can see what held them back and how they were able to move forward.
Learn how to ask for a raise or negotiate starting pay with confidence using the 7 Raise Rules and proven strategies to maximize your earning potential.
When I started talking to Terri about how to ask for a higher starting salary at a new job, she got nervous. She looked down, lowered her voice, and asked quietly, “Is that really okay?”
My answer was a firm “YES!”
I’ve been asked that question many times in many different ways. It all comes down to the concern that discussing money is breaking some sort of rule. The fact is that MOST recruiters expect applicants to try to negotiate a better salary. There is nothing wrong with it. Often, there is additional money available if you ask for it.
It took some convincing, but Terri asked for more money when she got a job offer. The company quickly came back with an extra $5,000, and she took the job.
Learning for Terri:
Learning for you:
Ray wanted a raise at work, but he said he didn’t like conflict and didn’t want to cause any problems with his manager.
I told him to look at the conversation in a different way. Instead of seeing it as conflict, how could he see this as an opportunity to solve a problem?
I asked Ray to tell me about a project that he had worked on with his manager. He told me about a recent situation where they developed some solutions together. Then he said, “That’s not the same. We both wanted to solve that problem.”
Here’s where so many people make mistakes. They believe they are asking for something their manager doesn’t want to give them – more money. In most cases, you and your manager do want similar things. You want more money at work so you can continue to be happy and motivated and stay there. Most managers want you to have enough money at your job so you’re happy and motivated and don’t quit in order to make more money somewhere else.
Ray reframed how he thought about the raise discussion. He came to the meeting with his manager looking for ways to solve the problem together. This approach helped him be calmer in the meeting and have a more productive conversation.
He and his manager worked together, and he got the raise.
Learning for Ray:
Learning for you:
Mimi wanted a raise at work, but she was uncomfortable asking for it. She gave lots of reasons why she didn’t want to talk to her manager about it, including saying, “money isn’t everything.” I hear that objection many times, and I agree that’s not the only thing we should focus on in our jobs, but we need money to pay bills. And if you can get more money for doing your current job just by having a conversation with your manager, why wouldn’t you try?
Even though it was hard, she decided to ask her manager for a raise. She met with him and reviewed what she had done that had brought value to the team and company. Her manager agreed that she did deserve a salary increase, and he said he had been thinking about it for some time.
She was so excited that she told her sister what she had learned. Her sister worked in another industry, and decided to also ask for a raise. Mimi’s sister got the salary increase she asked for and was also able to use a company car, which was a big bonus for her.
Learning for Mimi:
Learning for you:
Here’s what I’ve learned after helping many people negotiate their salaries:
1. It’s Expected
Most employers expect negotiations after they present a job offer. They often start with a lower offer, assuming you’ll ask for more. By not negotiating, you’re leaving money on the table that was allocated for you.
2. The Worst They Can Say Is No
And even “no” often comes with valuable information. “No, but we can review in six months.” “No to salary, but yes to other benefits.” “No to that amount, but here’s what we can do.”
3. It Gets Easier
The first time you ask for more money is the hardest. Each time you advocate for yourself, you build confidence. You learn what works and what doesn’t. You realize the world doesn’t end if they say no.
4. You’re Not Just Negotiating for Now
Every raise builds on the previous one. A $5,000 increase now will mean way more over your career.
When you negotiate successfully, you show others it’s possible. Mimi’s sister got a raise because Mimi shared her story. Who might you inspire?
For a New Job Offer:
For a Raise at Your Current Job:
Every story I’ve shared has one thing in common: the person was initially afraid to ask for more money. And every single one was glad they did. Even if you don’t get everything you want, you’re more likely to get at least part of it if you ask.
Your reluctance is normal. Your fears are common. But they shouldn’t stop you from advocating for yourself.
Is it really okay to ask for more money?
YES. It really is.
Laura is a speaker, trainer, and coach who helps individuals and leaders be more successful at work. At Career Coffee Break (www.careercoffeebreak.com), she shows people how to make more money at work by negotiating raises and higher starting salaries at new jobs.
Laura’s newest book, Interview Speak: What Your Interviewer Really Wants To Know, helps readers translate what interviewers are saying so they can give their best answers and get the jobs they want. She is also the author of other business books, including Help! My Company Swiped Left! and Increase Your Income: 7 Rules for Women Who Want To Make More Money at Work. She has also written fiction books, including A Salary Cinderella Story (Or How To Make Money Without A Fairy Godmother).
She was a Senior Director of Human Resources for a global tech company. She has extensive experience in leadership and management development and has coached and trained leaders from Fortune 100 companies.
Laura has written for Forbes and has been quoted as a business expert in major publications, including Cosmopolitan, Family Circle magazine, and USA Weekend.
Connect with Laura on LinkedIn.
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