How Vulnerability Helps Leaders and Organizations
- When vulnerabilities are shared with others, a “like me” effect attracts people who are more likely to support and rally around a leader they can relate to. This cohesion strengthens culture and commitment to move a business toward its goals collectively.
- Leaders, like anyone, also reconcile their personal challenges through disclosure. Lowering emotional defenses results in improvements in mental health. The ensuing benefit allows leaders to shift from prioritizing self-preservation to acting in the best interests of their peers and the business. Being vulnerable shifts egoistic actions to ones that support the collective good.
While sharing vulnerability is a positive attribute of leaders, cultural influences and personal fears keep them from taking the step, and it is affecting their mental wellness and hurting the workplace. Even when leaders are struggling to hold their team together, make good decisions, or keep their heads above water, they rarely divulge their challenges. Why would they do this?
Why Leaders Don’t Show Vulnerability
Perception
The first leadership belief hurdle to leaders sharing their vulnerability is the ingrained perception of what leadership means to them. Leaders don’t often share because they believe that success is achieved by
- Leaders who are strong, independent, and decisive visionaries drive the pace of achievement.
- Leaders who work tirelessly, set the tone, and get things done – all without complaint.
- Leaders who are always in control and set the tone from the top. People won’t follow a leader who admits feeling out of control, doubts, or displays anything other than a positive outlook.
The above leadership beliefs contain inherently good characteristics, like outward strength, internal resolve, and drive. However, few leaders ever achieve this unless they are willing to express some form of vulnerability.
Many people see vulnerability as a sign or signal of weakness. But isn’t this a more accurate depiction of reality: The strongest people are the ones who are willing to be vulnerable?
When leaders remain stoic and guarded or don’t share their personal concerns, their leadership choices are influenced by the need to protect their image or authority. They might avoid or decline outside input because they perceive it as a threat or have a distrust of others. This leads to reduced cooperation or sharing of ideas and isolation of the leader from those who require support. These actions are motivated by self-preservation.
The more a leader internalizes their professional or personal challenges, the more stress builds in the effort to keep a secret or hide vulnerabilities. This manifests in many ways, such as mental illness, depression, or anxiety, as well as lack of sleep or even self-harm. Clearly, when the leader is unwell, their personal and professional lives suffer, as do the daily experiences of all affected stakeholders. None of the outcomes are good for the leader or the company.
Fear
The second and more important leadership belief to overcome is the fear of opening up. Many different fears exist that prevent leaders from admitting challenges or vulnerability:
- People will lose confidence in them, and they will be overtaken or replaced.
- They will be perceived as being weak and be taken advantage of.
- They will be considered a pariah and suffer socially.
- They will have to publicly reveal their biggest personal challenges – or traumas.
Leaders personalize the fear of being undermined or overtaken if they exhibit weakness or vulnerability. They fear the competition will take what is theirs, or the company will suffer, and their role may become irrelevant. This puts the business and career at risk and thus their job security or reputation. They also open themselves up to losing status or authority in their role.
When a leader is guided by fear, they often avoid decisive action. They will side-step responsibility, or worse, will hoard it. Fear manifests as a lack of trust in themselves or in others. When that exists, leaders become severely limited in their role.
Naturally, ego-centric decision-making or fear-based “fight or flight” emotions are not conducive to leaders making clear-headed, quality choices that are in the company’s or culture’s best interests. Often, the leader is unaware of their actions or avoids revealing vulnerabilities.
How to Help Leaders Be Vulnerable
So, what are we to do with leaders who work continuously to live up to society’s construct of leadership, are fear-based, and perpetually hide their perceived vulnerabilities?
Our first step is to break down these leadership beliefs and admit and normalize the conversation around vulnerability being closely linked to mental wellness and decision-making. In fact, there is overwhelming evidence that avoidance of vulnerability, or lack of awareness of its importance, is directly connected to stress, anxiety, and negative behavior patterns that hurt performance.
Next, a supportive leadership culture that values vulnerability as a positive quality of leadership and mental wellness should be fostered. When acceptance and encouragement of vulnerability as a strength occurs, there is increased cooperation, collaboration, and alignment of people.
Lastly, acknowledge and rally around vulnerability as a leadership strength by removing perceived and real risks for leaders who choose to step forward to address their professional challenges or personal traumas.
When leaders can adjust their beliefs and see vulnerability as a strength, and the company and community that surround them foster a culture of support, they can realize their full potential.
