Stop Trying to be Me

Stop Trying to be Me
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I have loved our wonderful project management programs. Over the years, I have had a lot of help getting the programs ready. In my case, it takes most of my energy to make sure that the program is perfect for the audience. Of course, you really can’t please everyone, but it is my responsibility in a classroom to do that as well as possible. Like most programs, it’s helpful to have another person working with you while I am delivering.

Learn more at the HRDQ-U Webinar:
Stop trying to be ME – Live YOUR own life

Recently, one of my friends was helping with the program. This was not unusual, and I didn’t think anything of it. Toward the end of the program, I realized that my helper was adding some of her own material without asking me. I was shocked. Helping is one thing, but bringing your own materials without asking? I went from shocked to mad, but we were almost done and headed on. To be perfectly truthful, I’m still mad.

My vision of the learning world is a hierarchy. There is 1 leader (me) in my programs, with one or two people who might need some help on the side (not me because I’m teaching). That way no one is bored, and most have an opportunity to meet other people. Of course, there are some people who don’t want to ‘meet’, but usually that person eventually makes a friend and gets going.

I allowed this incident to close the door. I have not worked with this person again. It is easier for me to pretend that all of that never happened. A good person would make sure things were talked out. I am not that person in this incident. I’m not sure that I will ever be a close friend to her. I can make up lots of things in my head about why she put materials of mine and hers and it’s likely that she thought that as helpful. I do know the relationship will never be what it was.

Learn more at the HRDQ-U Webinar:
Stop trying to be ME – Live YOUR own life

Big picture, my instant anger and the way I behaved after could have been easily fixed in the beginning. Both of us lost, but I was the only one who could have stopped it. And I’m still pretty mad about it, holding it which clearly is a childish position. We all have blinders and the way we see the world looks completely different from what another person sees. Probably most of the conversations get scrambled.

We have the ability to translate uncomfortable situations. We always have the chance to take the mad road or the glad road. I’m still working on that, but it’s important that I do.


Written by: Lou Russell

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